Issue №2: Does 'Chaos Season' really have to be SO chaotic?
Issue №2: Does 'Chaos Season' really have to be SO chaotic?
One simple framework for managing end-of-year stress
Hello again friends!
If you spend any time at all on the internet, you’ve probably been bombarded with dozens, if not hundreds, of posts offering strategies and tools to help you survive what’s often dubbed as, "Chaos Season."
And, unless you have somehow managed to get by unscathed in past holiday seasons, you’ll know that Chaos Season starts on Halloween and will continue on through the New Year.
If you are a parent, you’ll know that Chaos Season actually starts with Back-to-School Season. Society will have you believe otherwise by promising you a breath of untainted air sometime between September 1st and October 31st. When that breath actually comes, nobody knows, but supposedly it’s in there somewhere.
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How to Get By
To help us survive chaos season, we are offered solutions that include but are not limited to:
🗓 Calendar apps to help us manage multiple calendars and accept or send invites
🥗 Meal planning services that help us find recipes for meals everyone can eat, and delivery services that bring all of the ingredients
🎒 Nanny agencies to help us find childcare coverage over the school break
🧦 Lockers where we can leave dirty linens (and socks) to be laundered
👜 Memberships where we can rent designer bags, party dresses, and even things like decorations and cutlery
🤳 TikTok and YouTube videos to help us learn how to wrap gifts, make a sale, grow an audience, be a good host, hold an interesting conversation, or stay on a diet when we’re surrounded by treats...
We also have the option of hiring party planners, housekeepers, decorators, travel agents, hair stylists, nail artists, professional photographers, caterers, cookie decorators, and personal assistants.
If you have a business (or work in one), you’ll also need to be focused on getting those sales and metrics up before the calendar flips from 2023 to 2024 where we will all supposedly be living in an AI-enabled fever dream.
For that, you can hire business coaches, analysts, and auditors to help you improve your metrics as you simultaneously plan for your job to go away.
Phew! I'm out of breath just typing that.
Does anyone else think this is all just WAY TOO MUCH??
Most of us. Yet, here we all are, running around like headless chickens trying to live up to the spirit of the season.
Remember: no one likes the Grinch until he is infected with HOLIDAY SPIRIT and finds his way back into society where he can finally be loved (sounds a little ‘churchy’ to me, but I digress).
If we need a phone full of apps, calendars that sync our calendars, and a team of professionals to help us find 'balance,' certainly, we must be doing something wrong.
So what should we be doing?
The abbreviated solution is to simply say, “no,” but since that is easy to type and hard to actually do, here are some suggestions that have worked for me and hopefully will work for you too.
Stop managing the chaos. Opt out of it instead.
Throw perfection out the door. Embrace a ‘good-enough’ mentality instead.
Establish your values. Reflect on them daily. Use them as a filter.
Avoid making ‘yes’ choices based on the expectations of others. Participate only in the holiday activities that enhance your life and give you energy. If this is decorating cookies, decorate cookies. If it’s visiting your grandma, get on a plane. If it’s being in nature, skip that third party and go for a hike.
To be clear, I am NOT trying to villainize your family, your child’s school, or your job. I am also not telling you to cut important pieces of your life out of your life. What I am saying is, “The only person who is thinking about everything you're expected to do IS YOU.”
Your boss isn't thinking about the school volunteer hours you still need to fill, the winter gear you need to buy, the RSVPs you need to send, or the flights you still haven’t booked.
Your out-of-state relatives who have invited you to stay over Christmas likely aren't aware that you need to get all of your family's medical appointments in before your health insurance deductible resets again.
Even your partner, who lives with you, might not know that you need to bake 2-dozen cookies for your neighbor’s Friendsgiving potluck (by tomorrow) or that you’ll need to find a White Elephant gift for the office exchange.
Everyone in your life who is pressuring you to do something, wants you to be there. They have the best of intentions. They are also likely juggling 1000 demands of their own.
They are not seeing the full picture of your life. Only you are.
So, as often as you can, say, “No,” this season. Delete those apps, decline the party invite, wear a dress you already own, and bring store-bought cookies.
Focus only on what fills you and your family up.
As for me? I’ll be skipping the gift-giving, Christmas decorating, holiday parties, rented velvet dresses, and Black Friday shopping.
Instead, I’ll be writing, reading novels, working on my business, and chilling in Mexico with a book and bebidas (or, more likely, chasing my toddler around on the beach. But hey, exercise is good for you!
Big love,
— Kendra Koch
Mom, Writer, and Founder at Touchy Feely